


Acceptance

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Sam, Dominant/Top Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Porn With Plot, Protective Sam Winchester, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 10:05:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1-shot. Hurt on a hunt leaves Dean facing a dark future. One where he must learn to not only accept not hunting but also allowing Sam to help him more than he’d like. Trouble there is he’s keeping Sam at an arm’s length when a secret Dean’s been keeping for years comes to light & he must also accept that or risk losing his brother for good. Accepting his choices, Dean soon learns his admission will also bring out a secret of Sam’s. *Blind/limp/testy/surprised!Dean & Helpful/protective/concerned!Sam* (Dean/Sam) Wincest. First time. Set in season 6 after 06x14 Mannequin 3: The Reckoning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Language as always. Also since this is Wincest, the usual explicit warning for that.  
> Pairings: Dean and Sam.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own them. I only own the wicked imagination that comes up with this stuff.  
> Author Note: So the title changed a quarter of the way through but I still have plans for the original title. This is probably my second first time piece and I do have two others in mind. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this.

Pitch blackness. Complete and total darkness. He’d never had a problem with the dark before, that was usually more his little brother’s issue but right now Dean Winchester was having a lot of problems with it and not all for the more obvious reasons.

It’s been over a week since the last hunt had gone totally wrong and landed him in an ER because his overly freaked out resouled little brother had panicked all because Dean’s ears and nose were bleeding, on top of his head of course.

Though he really couldn’t blame Sam for panicking when he’d been taught since the age of nine that head wounds were the one injury you did not screw with and since it had been Dean’s head the damn ghost of a serial killer still haunting his old stomping grounds had tried to cave in he hadn’t been in much shape to argue.

Until he woke up in the hospital to quickly realize something had gone wrong and he was blind.

“‘ _Temporary blindness due to the shock and severity of the blow in addition to a little swelling behind the eyes which will all go away with proper rest and treatment_ ,’” the doctor had told Sam in a much too clinical way to reassure either Winchester. “‘ _He seems to have had another blow to his head recently and this one was probably too much finally_.’”

He’d heard Sam offer some form of explanation that the doctor must have been satisfied with and that hopefully didn’t involve trying to explaining dragons, broken swords, fairies, vampires, skinwalkers, shapeshifting babies or anything else Dean had dealt with since finding out his brother was still alive.

Dean also was glad this happened after Sam’s soul had been restored because Robo-brother just would not have cared enough to think about taking him to a hospital in the middle of a hunt.

Not that this was a good time to have this happen since Sam was still too shaky after having his soul put back in, the wall had already shifted a little to give Dean a stroke after the whole spider monster case and he knew Sam was still trying to overcompensate for what he blamed himself for that he’d done while soulless.

Hospitals were not a good thing for either Winchester especially now when Sam tended to drift off into his own thoughts far too easily these days so Dean was happy when after all the testing had been done and it was decided that his vision would come back on its own in time that he could release himself AMA and get them the hell out of Dodge before anything else happened.

It was not a huge secret that Dean didn’t like being hurt or sick. He really didn’t like it when it laid him up in some crap motel for over a week, though to be fair this was about their fourth crap motel since he released himself from the hospital.

Sam refused to answer directly what happened with the ghost though he swore to Dean that he’d gone back and dealt with him; not something that made Dean happy since if the damn thing had been a pain in the ass for both of them the first time he wondered just what had happened when his brother went back alone and that was the part that Sam was avoiding the most.

Of course Sam avoided him all together unless it was to help him do something or unwrap the damn eyes to put drops in them three times a day but each time this was done and there didn’t seem to be any change the more upset and down Dean got…which he’d started to notice is when Sam pulled away more.

His brother was always quiet or withdrawn when upset and it was pretty clear to Dean by the fourth day that something was bothering his brother but as of yet he was too distracted with his own issues to bring himself to ask what it was.

There was a lot of strain still between them from even before the whole soulless thing happened though Dean had slowly accepted that a lot of that had been as much his own fault as Sam’s. It was just a matter of convincing his guilt ridden little brother to let go of some of it, which was never easy and especially not when Sam was running on guilt after learning some of what he’d been like the last year and six months.

Sam offered to take them back to Bobby’s while Dean’s eyes healed but since Dean wasn’t certain how comfortable that would make either his brother or the older hunter he’d refused and just got used to the motels he couldn’t see and the odd silence that seemed to be getting heavier every day now.

He tried not to let being this helpless or frustrated get to him but there was just so long of listening to TV or of having to have Sam’s help to move around the room unless they stayed long enough for him to get used to it or even to help him find whatever food Sam would bring back to eat and he admitted to getting snappier than his brother deserved.

Of course it didn’t help his mood that having to have Sam help him so much more than usual was also bringing back the one thing that Dean had worked damn hard to avoid since his brother turned sixteen and began to grow into the dreaded growth spurt that put his younger brother four inches taller than him.

Dean had been trying to ignore the feelings for Sam that hadn’t been so brotherly in years and had managed to pull it off successfully until recently. He’d even at one point convinced himself it had been a night of too much liquor that had nearly made him cross that invisible line that he and Sam never spoke of while others just assumed they’d already crossed it.

The first time he’d really began noticing that he was looking at Sam a lot more and in a way usually reserved for hot waitresses in diners was shortly after Sam turned sixteen and had a fight with their Dad that as always resulted in Dean being the one to get between them.

That time though John had pushed Sam past the point where a simple nudge back worked to rein his brother’s temper in and Dean found himself actually having to grab Sam to physically push him into the bedroom they shared while telling their Dad to take a walk until he calmed down.

To this day Dean could recall his surprise when his gawky little brother nearly overmatched him and he had to shove Sam against the wall to keep him still until he finally began to calm down and that was the first time Dean had felt the change when he looked into Sam’s eyes.

He and Sam had grown up together. Hell, they’d slept in the same dame bed until finally John got it through his head that it might be better to stop that habit shortly before Sam was nine and still on nights when his brother was scared or sick he’d end up sleeping with Dean.

Sam hadn’t helped the situation any since he was fifteen because  Dean would swear his sweet faced brother came out of the shower only in a towel or nothing at all just to get under his skin but he’d always been able to ignore the growing sensation of want…until that night.

It was the feel of Sam’s fingers gripping his shoulders, chest heaving as he tried to regain control of his breathing and the constant squirming the kid had done to get free of Dean’s body holding him against the wall that shocked the shit out of the older boy the second he felt himself growing hard and wanting to taste the mouth that had been so close but still so out of reach.

Dean had made certain Sam was calm and that their Dad knew to leave the kid alone and then he went out to the closest bar to drink the images of tossing his sixteen year old brother on the bed to fuck his brains out and had only partially succeeded when he got back to the motel to find his Dad gone with a note about a hunt and to watch after his brother.

Watching after Sam wasn’t what Dean had been worried about as he fell face first into bed to sleep it off only to feel Sam eventually ease in next to him whispering apologies for the fight and other things that Dean’s brain couldn’t process that night because he was only too much aware of the body pressing against his back and stayed awake fighting not to do what his body was telling him to.

After that night he’d paid more attention to where Sam was and never allowed himself to get that drunk or that close to Sam like that again. After Sam left for Stanford, Dean had thought he could realign his thoughts and put it off as a drawback to watching his brother too closely his whole life but the first time he was at a bar right after Sam left and he realized with a sick feeling that he was looking at guys who bore similar traits as Sam that he knew he was in trouble and deeply disturbed.

Since they started hunting together again, Dean had managed to hide the occasional bursts of want or blame them on stress or alcohol or anything to keep Sam from knowing about it and thinking him more twisted than Hell had made him but the time with Robo-Sam was now making it very hard for him to ignore the feelings and needs that had never gone away.

Sam had always been good looking or so Dean had been told by many a woman and even a few men in the bars they’d go to and while usually he was quick to always stress the ‘they’re brothers’ line Dean had conveniently forgotten to pass that along a couple times if he didn’t like the look of a certain lust hungry female and he’d usually just snarled at the guys who had eyed his little brother.

This time while Sam had been running soulless and didn’t much give a damn what he did or said, Dean had stopped trying to be a buffer because he’d learned early on that trying to control Sam like that usually only resulted in them ending up in a fight and the second time he’d woken up with a bloody nose he’d tossed his hands up and tried not to think too hard about what Sam was doing.

It also didn’t help that all Sam did in that time was work out so now his already muscular, wide shouldered brother had ripped muscles in places that made Dean’s eyes go to automatically because the damn asshole hadn’t cared if he walked around naked after a shower or slept in the nude, almost like he was testing Dean’s resolve…almost like he was baiting him to make a move, like he knew the filthy things that often passed through Dean’s head while looking at Sam.

Robo-jerk had made a pass once or a teasing comment, since it was right after the mess with the fairies and Dean was still on edge he couldn’t be sure which one it was but it was also the one and only time he’d actually hit Sam hard enough to draw blood lately and left the soulless side of Sam staring at him in shock.

Now that Sam’s soul was back and he was back to being his over emotional, hyper and a little too clingy when upset self, it was very hard not to fall back to the usual methods of soothing Sam or calming him down but Dean knew if he let himself relax now, if he touched Sam’s hair or neck or any of the little things his brother was used to that it would be too hard not to take it farther and he didn’t want to scare or scar the kid anymore than having a wall in his head from Death or surviving the Cage had.

Of course Dean was only too aware that keeping Sam at a distance right now was making his brother think he did blame him for the things he’d done or that he still resented him for the things that had gone on between them before the mess at Stull had happened but right then he thought it better for Sam to think that than what was really going through his head.

That plan worked until serial killer asshole ghost chose to slam Dean around the small wooded area that he’d been haunting since his death and the final blow to his head in the shape of a tree resulted in an injury that the hunter just couldn’t shake off and walk away from and he pretty much needed Sam’s help for nearly everything.

After twelve days of it, of feeling Sam’s hands shake a little every time he needed to undress Dean’s eyes to the careful way his brother wiped the dried crud out of them before putting the fresh drops in and wrapping them again to how Sam’s hands were always just hovering near his arm or back or shoulder on trips from the bed to the bathroom or to the Impala it was making Dean’s teeth grit.

Sam had been doing everything in his power to make this time as easy on Dean as possible and he knew that. He knew his brother hated the things he’d put the TV on but found those movies or shows because Dean liked them.

He knew Sam hated most of the food he was bringing back but wouldn’t take the time to stop at more than one place out of fear that something would happen and Dean would need him while he was out…though that fear was Dean’s own fault because he’d tried to get to the bathroom in one of the rooms by himself and got turned around and nearly fell when he tripped near the front door.

Dean could still hear the panic in Sam’s voice when he walked in and nearly tripped himself over Dean. Though panic and Sam combined to easily turn anxious and hovering, which never failed to result in Dean pushing him away while snapping that he wasn’t a baby and if Sam had booked them into a room that wasn’t an obstacle course he’d have been fine.

That night though when Dean woke up to the sound of water running in the bathroom he’d felt like crap because years of knowing his brother told him that the water was covering the quiet sounds of tears because he was fairly certain there hadn’t been a night since his accident that Sam hadn’t woken up with either a nightmare or hid away from him.

During the day Sam would be in the room working on the laptop or on days that Dean’s temper got the best of him, like today, he’d make an excuse to run to get something but Dean’s hearing was more acute without his eyes and after the fourth time Sam had used that excuse he’d realized that while he’d heard the motel room door and the Impala’s door he’d never once heard his car actually start and drive off.

He’d considered calling Sam on it but never had. He knew he could be a bastard at times. These days especially because every morning when he woke up to it still being dark and the fear that his vision would never come back and that he’d be like this for the rest of his life got too much he lashed out and Sam, no matter how much Dean loved him…in whatever way he loved him, was the only outlet available for the anger.

This morning had been the worst because for some reason his damn eyes were hurting and he couldn’t stand for them to be touched so he’d slapped Sam’s hands away and refused to let him unwrap them. The next fight had come when Dean decided to shower and Sam had hovered to close as if to make sure he didn’t fall but considering he’d gotten hard earlier when his brother had helped him shave there was no way in hell Dean planned to do the whole shower scene with Sam that close.

This motel had been the longest one they’d stayed in since his accident so Dean had actually gotten a feel for the rooms and could get around a little better, a part of him wondered if that wasn’t Sam’s plan, and had told his brother that in no mixed words and while he’d heard the sharp intake of breath Sam hadn’t argued anymore and left him alone in the bathroom.

When he got out, Dean was dressed with clothes he’d known would be waiting for him, and then settled on the bed to listen to another day or boring TV.

Sam had been hovering more the last few days and finally Dean had snapped. He wasn’t sure what he’d said but when the words Robo-Sam, bastard, vampire and fuck had all come out of his mouth Dean had known he’d crossed another line he’d sworn never to cross and that was to hurt his brother by ever bringing up the biggest thing Sam felt guilty over during his soulless time: the night he allowed Dean to be turned.

Dean didn’t have to see to know Sam’s eyes would be hitting huge, hurt, wet puppy eyes to the Nth degree and the rapid breathing that turned shallow told him that Sam was fighting not to burst into tears or latch on to Dean while apologizing for the two hundredth time for that incident.

“I’m…sorry for that and for not having your back this time,” Sam had finally replied, voice quiet and shaking and Dean knew his hand was just inches for his arm but didn’t touch him out of fear of probably what Dean would do. “It should’ve been me the ghost nailed that time. If it had been you could’ve just dumped me someplace and kept hunting. I’m sorry for what he…I did and…”

The sound of the door closing kept repeating in Dean’s ears while he sat down on the bed and for the first time since losing Sam in Stull, let the emotions pour free until he was drained and then he just allowed himself to think.

If his eyes didn’t come back he’d be useless to Sam. He couldn’t hunt, he couldn’t even protect his brother if they ran into something or someone looking to hurt him and that was one of Dean’s biggest fears. He knew their grandfather was still out there and he didn’t trust Samuel Campbell any more than he did Crowley. Sam could handle himself but the wall in his mind was a fragile thing and he worried a run in with Samuel, a mention of something Sam had done while soulless, could bring it crashing down.

There had to be a way to adjust to this sudden change, to accept the possible worst case scenario while not being useless to his brother.

Dean had been trained by an ex-Marine as a Dad and John Winchester had trained his sons to prepare for anything to happen on a hunt so when those possible worst case scenarios happened they’d be prepared for it.

His Dad had been a bit obsessive at times and had even blindfolded him once in a blacked out room to teach him how to use his other senses. It had worked to some degree though Dean admitted that it would’ve worked a lot better if his Dad hadn’t tried to do the same thing to Sam at the same time even knowing his little brother’s one fear, other than clowns, was dark enclosed spaces and Dean had fought through the lesson just to get to his brother.

Though if he were honest with himself now as he laid on his bed listening for the sound of the door to open since Sam was really pushing it being outside this long, the other reason he’d been so resistant to this was his increased senses also allowed him to hear and feel Sam more and his little brother had no clue what his innocent touches or the feel of his breath when he was close to use the drops and rewrap Dean’s eyes were doing to him.

Asking Dean to trust blindly was next to impossible and the whole trust issue was still a huge one but he needed to remind himself that this was his Sam with him now, not the uncaring robot that wore his brother’s body while his soul was locked in with two raging Archangels.

The young man he’d just hurt and was hiding outside with big eyes, floppy soft hair and a huge heart was nothing like that other Sam had been and that was what Dean needed to learn again. He also needed to see how much Sam still trusted him after this and to do that would also mean that Dean would either have to bury those emotions or just face them and admit it to Sam, taking the fallout because he’d promised Sam no lies and this was still a huge one.

Finally after another hour or so, Dean was slowly learning to hate clocks that weren’t digital, he heard the door to the room open and close, smelling food which meant Sam had walked to get it because the Impala had not…a hand on the nightstand then told him why the Impala hadn’t started. The damn keys were still by him even though he knew Sam had them earlier.

“Dean? You awake?” Sam sounded wary but the noise of a bad being placed almost too carefully on the table was almost as loud as his voice. “I went and got you a burger and fries, extra onions and…pie.”

Okay, the extra onions and pie told Dean he’d seriously messed Sam up because while his brother might get one or the other he rarely, if ever, brought back both.

“What did you get yourself?” Dean asked after pushing himself up, listening carefully as Sam moved around the room but noticed he didn’t get closer than the table and also a little impressed that he could tell there was only one bag of food and since there were extra onions on his burger he knew there should’ve been two. “I know you wouldn’t put a salad or anything of yours near a burger with extra onions.”

“Oh…I grabbed something while waiting on yours,” Sam shrugged; Dean knew it even if he couldn’t see it. “Can you…I mean I’ll set it out for when you want it. I’m going to grab a shower real quick and then we should try to get at least one set of drops in.”

So they were back to Sam really avoiding him and Dean couldn’t blame him. Now it was a matter of fixing this and just facing both his mistakes, both past and present and doing it literally blind.

Dean had always gone by Sam’s facial expressions when talking to him or his body language. Since that method of gauging his brother’s emotions had been taken away that left a few other ways and all of those could easily run him into murky ground but as he slowly pushed to his feet to feel his way to the table to start with he decided it was time to take a leap off a very jagged edge that once he faced this it would either go away or he could learn to deal with it.

Coming right out and telling Sam how he’d been feeling was not a good way to start this because in the current state of mind Sam was in he’d find a way to turn it around as being his fault his older brother seemed to think he was in love with him on a level that was so not brotherly.

He’d planned to catch Sam in the narrow bathroom which would make it a bit harder for his brother to avoid the conversation he was going to spring on him when a sudden burst of pain behind his eyes took him by surprise and he had to grab into a chair to keep from falling.

“ _Sonuvabitch_ ,” he gasped between clenched teeth, fighting the urge to rip the bandages off just to press his fists against his eyes. “Sam…Sammy!”

It was the tone of voice, sharp with just an edge of concern, that had Sam cutting the shower short to grab a towel to wrap around his waist before opening the door to see what his brother needed or wanted and forgot anything else in his haste to get to where Dean was leaning heavily on the chair with one hand near his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded, looking for signs of blood or another wound but thankfully relieved not to see anything. “Dean?”

Dean reached out without thinking about it to find and grab Sam’s wrist, needing to feel his brother as the pain slowly backed off. “Shit, that wasn’t fun,” he muttered, feeling Sam’s pulse jumping under his hand and knowing he’d scared him. “Sorry, just freaked a little when it started hurting.”

“Is it still hurting?” Sam pulled the chair out before Dean’s legs gave out, kneeling down beside him without bothering to think that all he was wearing was a towel. “Should we try the drops or maybe find a clinic or ER in town or…”

“No, it’s…stopping,” Dean assured him, not wanting another trip to an ER only to get told his vision wasn’t coming back and he suddenly needed to handle this matter before anything else came up. “We…we can try the drops in a little bit, before we go to sleep.”

Sam’s hand was on his shoulder while his other just lightly touched his face but pulled back when Dean tensed, dropping his hands to stand up. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed, noticing the burger hadn’t been touched. “You should eat while you’re sitting here and I…” he blinked as he realized he wasn’t dressed, suddenly very glad his brother couldn’t see him or his reaction to being this close to him. “I…need to shave and…dress.”

“We need to talk about something, Sam,” Dean didn’t want the food yet, not since he’d decided to finally tackle this issue and he needed to see how serious Sam was about sticking it out in the long run if things didn’t get better. “About me, my eyes…about…us.”

“Your eyes are going to be fine, Dean,” Sam assured him though he was also assuring himself since every day his brother’s sight didn’t come back even a little scared him a bit more. “They…may need more time or…”

“Or they won’t get better at all and I’ll be blind for the rest of my life,” Dean finished for him in a tone that was surprisingly calm considering he was coming closer to admitting that fate. “Are you prepared for that?”

“Are you?” Sam shot back before thinking, mild panic at the thought of his brother, the man who was still perfect in his eyes, losing his eyes and also his ability to do the one thing Dean always has: hunting.

Dean could hear the slight twitch of panic in Sam’s voice and reached out on instinct to catch his arm before he could retreat into the bathroom, feeling the rigidness of the muscles in the arm under his hand and knew Sam’s whole body would be tense.

“No, not really,” he admitted quietly, taking a shaky breath while standing slowly and reaching with his other hand to lay it against Sam’s face. “Though I have been thinking more about it today and…what that’ll mean for you.”

Sam had gone still under the touch as if he wasn’t sure what was happening or what would come next since a piece of him still expected his brother to lash out physically like he had so many times when things were bad or he was stressed after a fight between them over Ruby or Hell or anything.

Now as he listened to Dean he frowned a little, both at his words and the way his fingers were moving across his face as if trying to feel with his fingertips and suddenly Sam understood that his brother was slowly familiarizing himself to Sam with touch rather than his eyes.

“What…what about me?” he asked tightly; a lump in throat at the spark of fear that this might be the only way Dean would be able to ‘see’ him anymore. “You’re the one hurt because I screwed up.”

“You didn’t screw up and I’m asking what you’ll do after you park my useless ass somewhere?” Dean felt the muscles under his fingers on Sam’s face jerk at that, suspecting he’d be getting one of the more serious bitchface looks his little brother was famous for. “Bobby or Rufus would be good to hunt with since there is no way in hell you’re hunting solo with the Campbells still…”

Sam’s eyes, if Dean could see them, were wide at the suggestion of hunting with anyone else. “I hunt with you, Dean. No one else,” he replied firmly, biting the inside of his jaw as the feel of calloused fingers lightly ghosting over his cheek to move down his jaw. “I’m not ‘parking’ you anywhere and you’re not useless.”

“Can’t hunt blind, Sammy, and I can’t even use the computer for research like this so give me another definition of what I am,” Dean smiled a little, letting his one hand slowly move over his brother’s jaw before touching his lips and fighting the urge to do more here than just touch as he felt warm breath on his fingers when Sam next spoke.

“My brother,” Sam replied to that challenge easily, seemingly unaware that he was moving until his back bumped into the wall but stayed still to allow Dean to touch him with gentle fingers even though he knew he should stop him. “You want a definition of what you are? You’re my older brother, my best friend and if your eyes don’t come back, if you stay this way, then I don’t hunt anymore. Period, end of story,” he saw the frown form on Dean’s rugged face and imagined he was thinking up a lecture. “I’m not leaving you, Dean.”

Dean’s hand stopped moving as he let his forehead rest against Sam’s, uncertain what to say after that except to be honest. “You might change your mind after I’m done saying what I need to, Sammy,” he murmured, slowly lifting his head but not moving back. “Do you still trust me, little brother?”

“Pretty sure after the whole soulless me thing, the vampire mess and everything that I should be asking you that, Dean,” Sam wanted to keep his voice even and light but something in the way Dean’s face was set, the way his mouth was set and the way his hands were touching him made it hard to do anything but stand still and see where this was going.

Normally his brother didn’t do the whole physical contact thing unless it was to calm him down, and he hadn’t been doing that in a while unless he thought Sam was asleep so this change in demeanor and sudden touching should’ve worried the younger Winchester but it just made him nervous on another level.

“I’ve told you to let that go because anything that happened during that time, including the vampires, was not you and I don’t blame you for it or for this,” Dean told him firmly, letting his fingers move down until they settled over his brother’s heart to feel it beating faster under his hand. “Nervous, Sammy?”

“Did you get possessed while I was outside?” Sam asked, having to swallow at the feel of Dean’s hand on him like this; teasing like he hadn’t done since…since Sam was sixteen.

“Obsessed maybe but not the other,” Dean told him, letting go of Sam’s face so he could use it to support himself on the wall while his other continued its slow process of learning his brother by touch. “I used to be able to know by a touch if you were hurt or tense or upset…but I don’t think I picked that habit back up since we started hunting together again.”

Sam was suddenly very aware that he hadn’t dressed and held his breath when Dean’s hand stopped just above his waist. “You…you haven’t done this or been like this since…since you were…twenty and I was…”

“Sixteen,” Dean nodded, well aware of the exact day he’d stopped getting this close to his brother and the reason for it. “The reason for that is the same reason I’ve kept you at an arm’s distance since you got your soul back,” he began to explain when another burst of pain but not as severe this time hit him but he was focused on the sound of Sam breathing, the way his fingers were trying not to grip against the wall that Dean was only too aware he had him pressed against.

“What…what’s that?” Sam needed space, he wanted to move but found he also didn’t want to even if that meant letting his suddenly strange acting brother how screwed up in the head he really was.

Dean could feel his body reacting to just this closeness, to just touching Sam like he’d been wanting to and the difference between then and now amazed him as he skimmed his fingers over his brother’s rock hard and chiseled chest, down his abs that he’d watched ripple every single time Robo-Sam had done crunches rather than sleep.

“I’d convinced myself that I was too frustrated at first and then too drunk but it wasn’t that because it hadn’t just started that night back then,” Dean began again, voice a bit deep and more husky as he smoothed his whole hand over Sam’s stomach to felt the muscles under his hand move at the same time as it sounded like something hit the wall. “You okay?”

“Uhh, yeah,” Sam got out past a tongue that was seriously almost bleeding from him biting it to keep the sounds he wanted to make in. “Dean…what…what’re you doing?”

“Good question, baby boy,” Dean murmured, leaning in closer and not missing the tiny little sound Sam made or the way he shifted his hips to the side but he’d already felt the interest his brother’s cock was having in this maneuver.

Sam’s head jerked back from where it had hit the wall at the not so casual use of a nickname his brother hadn’t used in more years than Sam could count and this time couldn’t quite hide the groan because while it had surprised him it had also shot a burst of carefully and always buried lust straight to his groin. “You…” he stopped talking at the feel of warm breath on his neck and suddenly found it very hard to breath.

“This is the part of this discussion that might have you changing your mind about staying with me, Sammy,” Dean murmured, feathering his fingers around Sam’s side to trail up his ribs while no longer paying attention to the lessening pain behind his eyes or even the bits of shadows that were now beginning to appear. “Do you know why I left that night when you were sixteen? Why I went out and got as drunk as I could before coming back?”

Dean’s hands were just barely moving over his chest and lower back but Sam swore each light touch lit his skin on fire and he had to dig his nails into his palms just to concentrate on whatever in the hell his brother was saying since right at that moment Dean could’ve been speaking perfect Latin and he wouldn’t have known it.

“Umm, Dad and I’d been fighting pretty heavy that week and that night was really bad…and oh my God…and you kept me pinned to the wall in the bedroom until I calmed down. Then…you went out though I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d beat on me since I shouldn’t have put you in the middle of…” Sam’s whole tongue felt like it was going to stop moving the second he felt soft hot lips nuzzle against the hollow of his throat.

“I was always in the middle of the fights between you and Dad and no, that wasn’t the reason…or at least not the real reason,” Dean told him as he resisted the burning need to lock his lips onto the rapidly beating pulse he could feel, not sure if Sam was in shock by what he was doing or unsure what he should do since Dean honestly expected his brother to be freaking out by this point. “I need you to let me do one thing, Sammy. Just one thing after I tell you the reason I left that night and why for the next few months I slept with any girl I could. Do you trust me to do this?” he asked, hearing his voice dropping as he moved the fingers of one hand back up to trace Sam’s lips. “Just one thing and if you don’t like it, which I don’t expect you to really, I’ll never do it again and we can forget this ever happened or you can walk away free and clear.”

Sam was watching the intense concentration on his brother’s face while trying to stay still but he nodded slowly, then cursed at himself because Dean couldn’t see him nod. “Yes, I trust you,” he replied, blinking faster when Dean’s head shifted as if watching him before he stepped closer to fully box Sam in against the wall while his hands were gentle as they framed his face.

The buzzing in his head reminded Sam to breathe but he couldn’t stop looking at Dean’s mouth, the way it hovered just over his; so close they could share breaths if they’d wanted to. A hard pounding in his chest told Sam that whatever his brother was about to do was going to change his life and he silently allowed himself to hope it was in the way he’d been dreaming about.

“I left the motel that night because if I hadn’t gotten out of there when I did I either would’ve given in to the urge to toss your ass on the bed or kiss you, which…by the way, is what I’m about to do,” Dean told him calmly a half second before his mouth covered Sam’s in a hot searing kiss that wasn’t rough but wasn’t a gentle first time kiss either.

Dean’s whole body was on fire by this point and the moment his lips touched Sam’s it took all his strength not to go for more but he kept the kiss firm as he shifted his head just enough to change the angle and deepen it because if this was his only shot at this then he planned to make the most of it.

He slowly felt a hand on his shoulder and expected Sam to push him away; a little glad he wouldn’t see the shocked horror on his brother’s face. This is what Dean expected to happen.

He wasn’t expecting to feel Sam’s fingers dig into his shoulder to try to pull him closer or the soft moan escape as the lips he’d been fantasizing years about kissing slowly opened under his. Dean also wasn’t expecting to feel his younger brother’s body relaxing.

As much as Dean wanted to extend the kiss, to take what Sam seemed to be offering the side of him that was still Sam’s big brother needed to make sure he wasn’t misreading this. “Sam?” he eased back enough to speak but not far enough that he couldn’t still feel Sam’s breath or the wetness on Sam’s cheek when he brushed a thumb across it. “Sammy? A bit more freaking out from you is what should be happening here.”

“Why’d you kiss me now?” Sam asked quietly, not surprised that Dean would be expecting him to be upset considering how his brother had acted that night and several other times since then. “Why tell me this now, Dean?”

Starting to edge back, Dean kept his hand on Sam’s face while his other went back to lightly tracking muscles and curves that he really did wish he could see himself doing at least once. “I just accepted it tonight,” he shrugged, not believing this was the conversation they were having when a sudden shadow in front of his covered eyes caught his attention and he felt his chest tighten.

“Accepted what?” Sam knew his brother as well as Dean knew him and noticed that despite the last week of tension and worry, Dean did feel more relaxed right then but it was what he’d accepted that worried him. “Why were you so convinced that I’d change my mind about staying with you? Why would I walk away after this?”

“Sam, were you hit with fumes while you sitting in the Impala all day or did you get hit in the head or something that I need to know about?” Dean’s hands began to feel for lumps or bumps along Sam’s longer than normal hair. “ _Hel-lo_? I just kissed you. I just told you that on a night when you were sixteen I walked out to avoid throwing you on the bed and fucking your brains out. I’ve wanted you and loved you in ways that are not so brotherly since you hit sixteen…” he bit his lip before sighing. “Fine, fifteen but I refused to even think it until you were sixteen so that should give you a fair clue to how screwed up your big brother really is. I kind of expected my face to be bleeding the second I touched you so…”

“I was fifteen and a half the first time I knew I wanted you to kiss me the way I’d seen you kiss the girls in school and not much older when I began jerking off in the shower to thoughts of your hands touching me or…” Sam was relatively certain he was sound asleep and this was one huge dream that he’d wake up from hard and aching any moment now so he didn’t mind the small blush as it crept up his neck while admitting his longest kept secret.

If Dean’s eyes weren’t covered and he could see he knew damn good and well that his eyes would be huge as he took this sudden bit of news and, feeling it could from his head straight down to where his cock was now making his jeans very tight.

“That night you came home and I crawled into bed with you I spent it wishing I was brave enough to kiss you or touch you but I didn’t feel like getting punched so I just laid there because feeling you with me was always enough to calm me down after a fight with Dad,” Sam dropped his eyes while biting his lower lip, feeling a little uneasy now since his brother wasn’t moving and it was like he could still feel the intensity of green eyes that he feared he’d never see again. “I never told you because I was a big enough freak without adding wanting to have sex with my brother on top of it.”

Swallowing the hard lump that was in his throat, Dean’s hand moved to cup and lift the head he knew on instinct would be lowering. “You’re not a freak, Sam…and I’m not going to try to rationalize what the hell we are because that’s part of what I accepted today,” he went with the urge to lean in again just to let himself taste the skin on Sam’s throat by giving a gentle lick and nearly losing it when he felt Sam shiver.

“Accept what?” Sam asked again, turning his face into the hand that had cupped his cheek and this time did give in to the urge to press a kiss against the palm and heard Dean’s breath get ragged.

“This blindness for one,” Dean’s legs were shaking as he tried to keep himself standing at the feel of Sam’s lips giving little kisses to his palm, trying to keep his voice steady but desire was starting to win out. “I needed to face that it’s been over a week with no change and I can’t keep you at the same distance if I’m going to learn to live like this and that meant also accepting the reason I was keeping you so far away.

“Wanting you that way and not acting on it has been the hardest thing in my life…especially since all Robo-you did was work out and he made no bones about putting the moves on anything and everything but…I still wouldn’t do that with you because I…I thought I was twisted and sick and didn’t want to let you know that’s how I felt or what I wanted,” he let his hand move to rest on Sam’s hip, just above where he could feel the towel just under his fingertips while even without looking he could feel the cock tenting the towel against his leg.

Suddenly a lot of things made sense to Sam, things that he hadn’t understood for years and realized why Dean would often keep his distance or not let him in emotionally. “You’re not going to be blind forever, Dean,” he whispered the reassurance, letting his fingers move to touch his brother’s shirt though he still felt hesitant in doing so. “You’ll see again soon.”

“Maybe but even if I don’t I’ve come to accept it so far and accept that I needed to tell you the truth about how I feel, how I’ve felt…and really thought you’d do the freak out thing so now I’m kind of floundering of what to do next,” Dean knew what he wanted to do but he didn’t want to push it, looking down on instinct at the fingers that found their way under his t-shirt.

“You could kiss me again,” Sam suggested with a shy smile, reaching a hand up to touch Dean’s face but avoided the bandage around his eyes. “If…if you want to that is.”

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you for years, little brother so that’s not a problem,” Dean smiled but this time when he kissed Sam it was slower, softer and more like he knew the first one should’ve been and he allowed the heat to build before deepening it and then letting his tongue lick across as Sam’s mouth opened willingly to allow him to enter and explore with a groan.

Dean hadn’t been planning on this to happen but he also wasn’t going to stop until they hit a point where Sam wasn’t ready to go yet either and leaned into Sam’s chest more while his fingers went back through his brother’s hair to curve against his skull and giving a slight pull to angle his head better when his tongue dove slipped in and the heat of Sam’s mouth reminded him suddenly of just how long it had been since he’d had any kind of action.

Sam’s hand was still under Dean’s t-shirt and was trailing up before it slid back down to move around to his back and pulled him forward until one knee went between Sam’s legs and he groaned against his brother’s mouth at the feel of rough denim against his cock.

“Dean…can you…can we…” he whimpered, he couldn’t recall the last time anyone had made him actually whimper with need. “God, I want to see your eyes now.”

His brother’s eyes were one of the things Sam had always relied on to know he was safe or if things were good or calm because Dean’s eyes had several shades of green they could go depending on his mood and the sharpness of those eyes could also tell Sam what mood his brother was in from one moment to the next.

Though what he also wouldn’t ever tell his brother was that his first memory from childhood, his earliest memory, was looking up into those green eyes and knowing on some basic baby instinct that this was who he’d come to depend on most of all.

Dean could feel Sam’s hand shake as it touched his face but suddenly went totally still. “You…you just moved your hand over my eyes, didn’t you?” he asked quietly, hoping he was right and it wasn’t just wishful thinking. “Sam, did you just…?”

“Yeah, yeah…I didn’t think that it might hurt them,” Sam sounded broken that he’d been that careless until Dean’s fingers wrapped around his wrist to place his hand directly in front of his covered eyes. “Dean?”

“Move your hand again, Sam,” he prayed this wasn’t a fluke and that he wasn’t getting his brother’s hopes and his own up for nothing but held his breath until he felt Sam’s hand slowly move in a circle and he’d seen the shadow. “Take ‘em off.”

Suddenly forgetting how hard he was and what they’d been about to maybe do, Sam’s first instinct was to wait until they were sure but Dean’s tone was ragged and tight, part fear and part hope, so he helped him back until his brother was sitting on the edge of Sam’s bed.

“Let me turn off the lights,” he urged, not wanting to blind his brother again by bright lights. He quickly switched all but one low light off so he could still see what he was doing when he went back to turn Dean more toward him as he knelt on the bed to begin to remove the bandages. “What did you see?”

“Shadows but I knew you’d moved your hand past my eyes and that’s more than I’ve seen since it happened,” Dean was chewing his lip and fighting the urge to just tear the damn gauze off but chose to distract himself by lightly rubbing his fingers down past the towel to find that interesting V he’d always watched when Sam’s jeans rode low.

“Uhh, I have sharp scissors and you’re touching me?” Sam smiled a bit more because if Dean was still interested in sex or teasing him than his brother wasn’t too nervous about this. “How attached to this ear are you?”

“About as attached as you are to this hair so I’d watch what you cut, baby boy,” Dean replied, hearing the scissors get tossed as the gauze began to slowly unwrap. “Sammy? No matter if I can or can’t see, I’ve meant everything I’ve said to you tonight and…I so should’ve kept my mouth shut until I got you on the bed.”

Sam chuckled but allowed Dean’s fingers to play with the towel while also teasing his fingertips lower until he was in the dip between thigh and pelvic bone and the younger man’s fingers jerked at the same time as his cock did. “Dean…”

The low tone didn’t have its usual effect since Sam’s voice was barely above a strained whisper but Dean didn’t move his hand again despite being able to feel the actual heat from Sam’s cock and really wanting to feel it fully. “Get on with it, Sammy, cause I am seriously one move away from flipping you on your back and swallowing you whole.”

“Shit, Dean!” Sam had to stop what he was doing to grab the base of his cock to keep from coming just from that comment alone. “Can you wait two minutes until I get the pads off?” he shook his head while putting a hand on a shoulder. “Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them, okay?”

Dean’s eyes had been closed for over a week and suddenly he wanted them open to tell where his life would be though as he decided earlier, if Sam made the choice to stay his life would always be with his brother no matter what else they did.

Though to humor his brother and to avoid the bitchface he knew would be coming he nodded, groaning at the sudden kiss Sam offered. “Now who’s teasing, Sammy?” he felt the gauze pads come free then a gentle brush of Sam’s thumbs over his closed eyelids to clear away any crust or dried crap from the last drops and held his breath when warm lips kissed both eyes. “Chick flick much?”

“Shut up and open your eyes,” Sam countered, fighting to quickly slash at his eyes only to have Dean’s hands catch his and hold them tight, telling him of his brother’s nervousness. “No matter what happens, I’m not leaving,” he promised while silently praying to anyone that his brother would see him.

A deep breath happened before he finally worked his eyes open, first to slits and then a little wider. At first he felt a stab of panic when it was nothing but a dark blur but as he blinked more he slowly began to bring things into focus; the first of those being his little brother’s worried face.

“Dean? How are they?” Sam asked, trying to keep the worry out of his voice but it was hard the longer his brother didn’t speak and Dean’s face was unreadable in the near darkness. “Damn it, can you see me or…”

Dean moved before Sam could register what he was planning to do until he hit the bed with his brother straddling him and Dean’s mouth covering him with kisses and licks while his hands worked to get rid of the towel.

“You haven’t…been sleeping, have you?” Dean asked between hot kisses along Sam’s mouth, jaw and face until he got to his neck where he began suckling just behind his ear until Sam could do nothing else but try to keep up. “You get dark circles under those big eyes when you don’t sleep, Sammy. You’ve got those now but before I lecture you on not sleeping and probably not eating right, answer me one thing.”

“I take it you can see me,” Sam gasped when his brother’s knee, still covered in his jeans, pressed up tight against his balls as his very hard and dripping cock laid against his stomach. “What? God, ask me anything and then just kiss me and…” he trailed off, unsure if he could say what he really wanted to.

Dean’s mouth was leaving a hot trail of wet kisses now down the center of Sam’s chest, sliding lower and intentionally allowing his clothes to brush over every sensitive spot he could tell his brother had before pausing to lift his head, green eyes sharp but growing darker as lust and desire buried for most of his brother’s life came out.

“Kissing or touching you is so not an issue here, baby boy,” he spoke in a voice that had dropped past husky to pure sex, watching Sam shift under him and the relief that he could actually see his brother like this was huge and he let his tongue lick a slow stripe across rigid muscles just to hear the moan of pleasure. “I guess the question I have for you is…this soon after finding out about this, about how much I’ve wanted you, are you going to let me…”

All the filthy and dirty things that came to his mind that he could’ve said just to see what reaction Sam had to them stayed for all of three seconds before moving away because as he took in Sam’s eyes, the darkening of his pupils and the way looked at him like he always had, to expect Dean to have all the answers, he knew what he needed to say.

“Are you going to let me make love to you, Sammy?” he asked, smiling a bit more as he pushed back up until he was stretched out beside Sam to kiss him slowly again; a little surprised that he wasn’t in more of a hurry than he was as he met Sam’s tongue with his own before sliding his mouth down to the hollow of Sam’s throat to begin his path back down.

“Yes,” Sam murmured, fingers curling into the blanket as his body lit on fire just by Dean’s mouth and hands moving over him. “Want…want to feel you. God, I’ve been waiting so long for you to do this.”

“Now he tells me this,” Dean muttered teasingly, moving until he was kneeling between Sam’s legs to slowly take the heavy, red and leaking cock in his hand while silently admitting that Sam was impressive in all ways, not that he’d ever admit that shy of torture. “Tell me what you what me to do.”

Blinking at that, Sam’s eyes went closed the second Dean’s fingers closed around him and began a slow and steady stroking that if he wasn’t hard enough would certainly bring him fully there. “Want you to…” he couldn’t bury the groan when his brother’s other hand slid between his spread legs to find and cup his balls gently, rolling them between his fingers. “So want you to do what you’re doing but…what would you have done that night?”

Smirking a little as he kept up what he was doing, Dean’s thumb brushed over the slit in the head of Sam’s cock and felt his jeans get too tight at just the sounds his little brother was making. “Oh, that night? I wanted to toss you on the bed, turn you over, stick my fingers in your cocky little ass until you were open and then split you open on my cock until you knew you belonged to me.”

“Fuck,” Sam whispered, eyes going closed and amazed he wasn’t coming, sitting up to grab for Dean’s neck to pull him closer for a searing kiss as his need took over. “That,” he gasped against his brother’s mouth. “That’s what I want you to do.”

“Kid’s gonna kill me the first night we do this,” Dean decided but couldn’t deny he also wanted that but didn’t want to push Sam into anything. “Sammy, you know we don’t have to…mmmh,” the words stopped when the next kiss heated enough to remind him he’d have to ask Sam who the hell taught him to kiss like that. “Okay, turn over.”

Easily flipping to his stomach, Sam’s cock twitched as it rubbed the bedspread until two firm hands pulled him to his knees and a couple pillows were stuffed under to support him but it made finding friction harder.

“You do not even think of touching yourself until I say you can,” Dean growled, easing off the bed on shaky legs as he took in the sight of his brother naked and on his knees in front of him, cock heavy and dripping as he skinned out of his jeans and briefs while pulling his t-shirt over his head. “Stay put while I find where I stashed some lube or…”

“Don’t need it,” Sam remarked, burying his face in a pillow to hopefully hide the faint blush covering his cheeks at the admission.

“Yeah, you do because I wouldn’t touch you at sixteen without prep and I’m not…oh fuck, Sammy,” Dean’s knees were weak before but he was glad he was close to the bed when they finally gave out at the sight of his brother’s hole already red and stretched as if he’d… “Sam, do I want to ask what the hell you were doing in my car?”

Sam’s blush was spreading to his neck now but groaned at the feel of gentle fingers curving over his ass in a way he’d only dreamed of since the few times he’d had sex this way were for reasons he’d rather his brother not ever learn. “Probably not,” he admitted and then waited a beat to look over his shoulder. “You might be more interested to know what I was thinking while I was in the back seat of your car fucking myself on my fingers while picturing your hand doing it and your mouth on…Oh!”

Slipping one finger in to test just how loose Sam still was, Dean bit down hard on his lip when his finger slid all the way in past rings of muscles without any difficulty at all. “How many?” he asked tightly, knowing his own leaking cock wanted to slid into Sam but he was still leery until he tested it but blinked when three fingers were lifted. “Three? This a…daily thing, Sammy?”

“No, but…today was harder because we’d fought and…I needed the distraction,” Sam spoke from where he’d buried his face again, adding quickly. “I cleaned up though.”

“We are so playing in the Impala the first deserted road we find after leaving here,” Dean knew that for sure, groaning as two fingers went in just as easily but he moved them around slowly as if searching for something and moved his free hand to Sam’s hip to hold on to him just as he eased them forward until his brother’s whole body jumped. “How’s that feel?”

Sam’s eyes were wide as he looked back to see Dean’s eyes were heated. “Feel better once I can feel you inside me,” he watched his brother’s face change as lust filled his eyes. “Please Dean. I want this. I’ve wanted you since I was fifteen years old. I went to school to try to get over it, to stop feeling it but it never went away and it’s never going to go away.

“If you mean what you’re saying, if you’ve wanted me like this then please…” his soft plea cut off when a hand in his hair pulled his head back enough so that when Dean leaned up he could kiss him, tongue playing gentle games until he got the moans and whimpers he’d been seeking.

“I’ve got you, little brother,” Dean murmured against his ear, kissing his neck as he licked and bite over Sam’s shoulders before finding the knob of bone at the top of his spine to attach his mouth to and begin to suckle it while taking his cock in one hand to line the head up before easing it into the well stretched and nearly ready hole; his other arm slipping around Sam’s chest to hold him. “Still gonna be tight.”

At first Sam had been certain it wouldn’t be but when he felt the first gentle push as Dean slowly eased his achingly hard and lubed, when the hell did he do that Sam wasn’t sure, cock into him he could still feel the slight burn because his brother was certainly wider and longer than he’d stretched himself to but the burn was only short and quickly replaced by a buzz of pleasure like he’d never felt before.

“God… _Dean_!” he groaned, wanting more when he went to move his hips back to try to take Dean fully but shot his brother a bitchface when his teeth bit down on his shoulder in warning. “I’m not a girl,” he complained, relaxing a bit when he felt Dean’s hips roll smoothly forward until finally hitting muscle and leaving Sam shivering in need.

“No, but you’re also not some faceless guy or woman in an alley or cheap motel either,” Dean muttered, fighting against his body’s desire to thrust and claim because he wanted to give Sam something as well. “Relax a bit more and…Yahtzee,” he felt the muscle relax and with a final gentle thrust felt his cock slide home fully until he was flush against Sam’s ass with a groan that came from deep within his chest. “You are so hot, Sammy.”

Sam was gasping and shuddering with need as he adjusted to the feel of Dean’s cock filling him up while his cock was leaking precome steadily, the head just barely brushing the bed to find much needed friction. “You feel…so damn good in me,” he gasped in between moans. “Knew you would. I…I used to lay awake at night listening to you jerk off in the shower when you thought I was asleep and…sometimes use my fingers, wishing it was your cock going up inside me.”

Dean pulled out until just the head was brushing the rim before thrusting forward in one steady push until he was flush again but this time finding and hitting Sam’s prostate, using his body to keep his brother still as he stretched up to press his chest to Sam’s back and letting his lips find and bite the side of his neck. “Y’know if I’d’ve known any of this, you wouldn’t have made seventeen without me owning your ass,” he growled, licking a stripe up Sam’s neck.

“You could’ve told me too,” Sam moaned, chewing his lip while finding a way to move that matched Dean’s thrusts and he felt the touches on his sweet spot were slowly driving him mad. “Gotta come. Please, Dean…let me touch…” he whimpered a little more when he was pulled up tighter against his brother’s chest, a low keen coming out when teeth raked his jaw.

“No, this is all on me, little brother,” Dean told him huskily, nuzzling his jaw more when Sam’s head fell back to his shoulder as his hand slowly teased the rock hard nipples between his fingers while his other hand worked around to take the ready and red cock in hand to stroke it from base to tip with a steady and even motion. “Enjoy.”

“Wan’ you to enjoy it too,” Sam met each thrust with a move back of his ass and hips until he realized this position allowed Dean to hit his prostate with every move and soon they were both making sounds that made Sam kind of glad he’d paid for an end room this time.

Newly restored green eyes watched his brother’s face and body as desire and want all rolled through him and Dean moved the hand on Sam’s chest over to press over his wildly beating heart. “I’m watching you move on my cock in your ass, Sammy. I’ve got my hand on your cock and I wish you could see yourself. I am enjoying it,” he assured him, adjusting his grip to stroke a bit faster when he could feel his own balls beginning to draw up and knew he was close. “I’m also going to enjoy watching you come over my hand and knowing that sometime before we check outta this room that I’m going to suck you off.”

“ ** _Dean_**!” Sam’s shout was pure and raw as his orgasm hit him fast and hard, shooting stripes of come over Dean’s fist where it continued to work his cock with long strokes to help milk every drop out while his hips kept moving to touch and rub over Sam’s sweet spot, drawing it out as long as he could.

“That’s it, Sammy. Ride it out,” a series of kisses crossed over Sam’s jaw, face and neck while continuing to roll his hips with a bit more force until Sam’s inner muscles clenched around Dean’s cock and he felt himself come with Sam’s name muffled against his brother’s neck where he was proceeding to leave an array of marks that would be hard to explain in the passing days. “Sam…this is… _sonuvabitch_ ,” he breathed, shuddering hard while riding his own climax out.

Sam was shivering  as his body tightened around Dean’s cock to increase his orgasm but soon he was gasping from the force of the combined weight of both of their climaxes and with a whisper he hoped his brother heard felt things go white and then black before he went limp in Dean’s arm.

“Sammy?” Dean felt the change a second after he heard Sam’s whisper and just had enough time to tighten the arm around his brother’s chest to support him as he slowly eased them forward until his heart had slowed down and he carefully used out of Sam with a little sigh of regret.

A quick touch assured him that Sam’s pulse was strong and knew his brother had just had the wind knocked out of him for a few minutes. His hand carded back through sweat slicked hair before settling on the side of Sam’s neck to just sit there and watch him sleep peacefully.

Dean had honestly thought he’d never have a chance to look on his brother’s face again and since he was alone for the moment allowed his hands to finally shake at how real the fear of blindness had been to him.

It hadn’t been losing his life as a hunter that really scared him if he’d been blind but the thought of never being able to see Sam again that had been his worst thought. “Love you,” he whispered, leaning forward to lightly press a kiss to his brother’s hair he went to grab a warm washcloth to try to clean them up before moving to his bed for the rest of the night…and tomorrow since he didn’t plan on letting Sam out of his sight for a while.

“Hmm?” shifting a little as he began to wake up, Sam felt gentle fingers stroking up and down his arm and realized he could hear a heartbeat under his ear. “Dean?”

“I could point out that sex with me knocked you on your ass, little brother…but I won’t, yet,” Dean’s voice was soft and still deep which allowed Sam to know the emotions were still there as he opened his eyes to see his brother’s vivid green ones looking back and it took Sam’s breath away just how close he’d come to never seeing that again. “Hey, Sammy. You okay?”

Okay? Sam had just had one of the best sexual experiences of his life thanks to Dean and he was asking if he was okay? “Awesome,” he murmured, feeling tired but wary about sleeping. “Are you alright?” he asked, shaking his head to clear it. “Maybe we should put the drops in or call someone to ask them or…mmhm.”

Dean’s lips were warm and soft when they kissed this time. The kiss slow and gentle, the kind that normally Dean would roll his eyes over but wouldn’t since he enjoyed kissing Sam like this, especially when he eased back enough to see the dazed look but shy smile on his brother’s face.

“My eyes are seeing fine and while I’m sure you’ll still be driving a few more days…after we talk about what the hell you did in our car, I’m fine,” he assured him, understanding and accepting Sam’s fears because he probably would have them for a few more days. “If they start to hurt or anything then we can swing by a clinic but until then…I like what I see right now.”

“What?” Sam blinked through a yawn. “You’re looking at me so what’s…oh,” he dropped his eyes with a small smile as it dawned on him what his brother was saying.

“And I can still make you blush,” Dean decided not to tell Sam how cute that was since he didn’t feel like getting hit in the face right then. “This…what we just did, what I said to you…you know I’m kind of hoping it wasn’t a one-time thing.”

Sam had worried that it might be so hearing that allowed him to relax a bit more while not mentioning his no chick flick moments brother was pretty close to cuddling since he honestly wanted to sleep and had always slept better if he and Dean shared a bed.

“Was hoping it wouldn’t be,” he yawned again, shifting his head against Dean’s chest until he felt his brother’s breath on his face when Dean chuckled and tucked it under his head like he used to let Sam lay as a child. “You still like women?”

“Until the day I die,” Dean admitted, getting the question while smoothing his other hand across Sam’s chest before finding his hand to lay it on his own. “What we have is between us and…while I may still flirt and look, unless we need a quick buck, how about we agree that you’ll be the only long haired pretty face in my bed?”

Only because Sam was half asleep and too sexed out to move to punch his brother did he merely offer a nod to that comment though he understood what Dean was offering and would show his appreciation of it when he was awake fully. “Sleep?”

“Yeah, you can sleep now,” Dean laughed, keeping his touch light as he let his hand stay on Sam in some form like he always had done but waited until he’d felt him relax again before throwing his main rule to the curb. “Love you, Sammy.”

“Love you,” Sam mumbled, falling fast into sleep but popped one eye open. “Remind me to taste you to be sure you’re you when I wake up cause Hell hasn’t froze over for you to openly say that to me.”

Narrowing his eyes to the good natured teasing, Dean’s other hand gave a not so gentle pull to his brother’s hair only to realize that he might be using that to his advantage later in the day. “Shut up and go to sleep, bitch,” he growled, still smiling.

“Jerk,” Sam returned with a soft smile, feeling Dean’s fingers over his hand and knowing things were going to be better now.

**The End**

 


End file.
